Update on ways to help

My wonderful friends set up a few ways that people can help Jewelyn's family.

A P.O. box (thanks Kim!) was set up to accept formula checks (any brand, even checks that are expired!), diaper coupons, or gift cards -- basically anything that can fit in an envelope. Anything not used will be donated to The Liz Logelin Foundation. Send to:

The Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund
P.O. Box 235971
Encinitas, CA 92023-5971


A memorial fund was set up at Arrowhead Credit Union (thanks, Angelina!), and checks can be made out to The Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund. They can be mailed to:

The Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund
P.O. Box 235971
Encinitas, CA 92023-5971


For those who want to send packages larger than an envelope or shipments from UPS, Fed Ex, etc., please send to:

Brandi Futrell
c/o The Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund
14928 S. Maple Avenue
Gardena, CA 90248


There is also the option to contribute via PayPal, that email address is 4jewelyn@gmail.com.


It is absolutely amazing the out pour of support that we have received for Jewelyn's family from all over the world. Thank you to everyone who has helped to get the word out and thank you for your support.

We have laughter!

One year ago, I got the most wonderful news of my life: I'm gonna be a Mama Bear. Who knew that peeing on a little stick could change my life!

Today, Baby Bear had her first giggle. It was absolutely awesome. We were playing around and she was smiling her wonderful smile. I was talking to her about food and said the words "baby food" when she let out her first laugh! Who knew talking about food would be so funny to her.

Becoming a mother has been the most wonderful adventure I have ever embarked on. It is not easy but it is one challenge that I would not change for the world. I am so fortunate to have the chance to be the best mama bear that I can be. It is a lot of work being a mama, but it is work I look forward to. I am so lucky that every morning Baby Bear greets me with her smiling face. And now I have wonderful laughter in my life to listen to as well. After the sadness of the last few days, it was so wonderful to hear new laughter.

A call for help

As many of you know, my friend, Jewelyn, passed away on Sunday, September 27th due to an amniotic fluid embolism, just hours after giving birth to her first child, Gabrielle.

Gabrielle is doing well and will be released from the NICU this week. Jewelyn's husband, Philip, is going to need all the help he can get over the coming months and years.

A PO Box has been set up to receive formula checks and diaper coupons. Any and all brands will be accepted, and whatever Philip doesn't use will be donated to the Liz Logelin Foundation.

Formula checks and diaper coupons can be sent to:

Jewelyn Okamoto Memorial Fund
PO Box 235971
Encinitas, CA 92023-5971

Jewelyn, you will be missed

We should be celebrating the birth of a baby girl. We should be sharing in our friend's joy that her baby girl is here. We should be congratulating Jewelyn.

Instead, we are mourning her loss. Instead, we are sad. Instead, a baby girl will never know her amazing and loving mother. Instead, we are devastated.

It is so unfair. It is just not fair. It is unfair that this little girl has come into the world without her mommy. Jewelyn wanted her little baby so badly, she waited so long for her baby. I don't think that she even had the opportunity to hold her baby before she left our world. It is just not fair. It is not fair that her husband must mourn the loss of his wife while celebrating the birth of his baby. It is just not right. My heart aches for this little baby and her daddy.

It is so hard to comprehend that this has really happened.

Please see this blog for information on how to help if you can.

My heart aches for my lost friend

Earlier today I received a message from a friend. I thought it was happy news of the birth of our friend's baby. Instead, it was devastating news that our dear friend, Jewelyn, passed away. She gave birth to her daughter last night via emergency C-section. However, she suffered an amniotic fluid embolism and disseminated intravascular coagulation (DIC). She lost brain activity and was placed on life support. Today, she was taken off life support and a wonderful woman was lost.

Her baby girl was sent to UCLA Medical Center for observation and is expected to do well. This precious little baby will never know her mommy. It just breaks my heart and this is just so awful. My thoughts and prayers go out to the family and my heart goes out to this little baby girl who must grow up without her mother.

One of our friends set up a paypal account for donations to help her husband and baby girl. You can send a donation to the paypal account email address, 4jewelyn@gmail.com, in case anyone wants to send a couple dollars to help her husband and baby. In this time of utter sadness any little bit will help.

Made a child care decision

After much thought and contemplation, Papa Bear and I have made a child care provider decision. It is such a relief. It was a tough one but we feel really good about our choice. Papa Bear and I decided we wanted Baby Bear to be in a home day care rather than a center day care. We felt most comfortable with that arrangement. We were deciding between a licensed large family home day care and a smaller home day care. Today, we decided to go with the smaller home day care setting.

After getting great references for both providers. The small home day care references felt the day care provider was like a member of the family. We really liked that for our little one. A curriculum was not as important to us at this stage, rather being well cared for and loved was most important and that was the sense we got from the references we received. I got nothing but rave reviews.

Another plus was her understanding of the nuances of my work situation. I work at a college that does not have all the same holidays as schools or other universities and she provides care on those days, which other providers do not. Meaning that with the other provider, we would have had to make separate arrangements for care on holidays that I do not get off and we would still have to pay for care on holidays. Our child care provider works on all the days that my college works, she does so because her husband also works on that same schedule and the parents of the other children she cares for are also from the college.

Flexibility was another key aspect for our family. Grandma Bear and Lola Bear will each take a day to care for Baby Bear during the week. Although we will have set days to provide consistency, if there is a case in which one of them are sick or we need to switch days around for some reason, she is very flexible and willing to work with us. The other provider provided no flexibility or option to move days around. We would be contracted for certain days and we would have to pay even if we did not need care for those days. Another plus, is that our child care provider is half the cost as the other provider, not the deciding factor but really helpful for us and our budget.

I feel so much better knowing that we have made a decision and that we both feel comfortable with the care that Baby Bear will be receiving when she is not with us. It is going to be hard on me leaving my Baby Bear, but it definitely helps having made a decision that we feel good with.

Another baby carrier

I think I have a babywearing obsession. I just got another baby carrier. I got the Ergo baby carrier and I love it. That brings me to 4 carriers: a Moby wrap, a BabyHawk mei tai, a Baby Bjorn, and the Ergo baby carrier. I love all but the Baby Bjorn. The Baby Bjorn was a hand me down from a friend, but Baby Bear didn't like it as much as the Moby in the begining and after reading some negative reviews and issues with the strain that it places on the development of a baby's hip, I decided not to use it at all. I love the other 3 carriers that I have.



I now only use the Moby around the house, Baby Bear always falls asleep in it. I used to use it when we would go out, but because it is a little hot to wear and a but cumbersome to put on I don't use it out of the house much anymore. As she gets heavier, I think that the Moby will be retired. It was definitely a must have for me in those early weeks; it helped me so much to get things done and put Baby Bear to sleep.



I use my Baby Hawk mei tai carrier when we are out and about since it is much easier to put on in comparison to the Moby. It is not as hot to wear, which is very nice for this Southern California girl and it comes in a lot of pretty prints. It is my pretty carrier.




I have only used the Ergo a couple of times and I love it already. I think that Papa Bear will use actually use the Ergo since it is easy to get on and off and it is not feminine looking like the mei tai. It is similar to the mei tai but instead of ties, it has buckles. I think I will use to Ergo for walks and when we are out and Baby Bear will need to be worn for longer periods of time.

Maybe, I am a little crazy to have so many baby carriers when I only have one baby, but they are awesome and Baby Bear loves being worn. It is definitely great when we are out and she gets tired of the stroller. Baby Bear is not always a fan of the stroller or the car seat but she never has a problem being worn and always falls asleep, so my 3 carriers are so worth it!!

My Motherhood Mission Statement

In my mommy group that I was a part of last month, we were asked to write mission statements for motherhood. I thought it was a neat "assignment." Here is my Mission Statement:

Dear Baby Bear,

Always and forever, I will…

Love you.
Be there for you.
Listen to you.
Be patient with you.
Respect you.
Comfort you.
Teach you.
Protect you.
and
Be worthy of your love.

love always and forever,
Mama Bear

Back to work

My maternity leave ends in about 1 month. I am very fortunate to have been on leave for as long as I have been on leave. I know there are many women out there who have to return to work very soon after giving birth. In total, I will have had 21 weeks of maternity leave (3 week before birth and 18 weeks after). I will go back to work 4 days a week since I still have my California Paid Family Leave that I am able to use and I will use that one day a week until it is all used up.

I am looking forward to going back to work. Yes, I love spending all this time with Baby Bear. But I enjoy my work and co-workers and looking forward to adult conversations. I am looking forward to the routine of work and the challenges of my job. I look forward to having some time away from home for a little bit.

I love spending time with Baby Bear and I will miss her during the day. She is just such a wonderful baby; she is happy and smiles and so cute! I absolutely love her. But I will be a happier mama bear and a better mother by going back to work and having some time to myself.

I know that it will definitely be challenging being a working mother. I am already so tired and sleep deprived without the challenges of working and parenting. It will definitely be an adjustment for me. It will be an adjustment for Baby Bear to be away from me for so long (especially since she is still on bottle strike). I suspect that it will be harder for me than it will for her. She will be in child care 2 days a week and then spend a day with Grandma Bear and another day with Lola Bear. It will be wonderful for her to spend time with both grandmothers and I know they will both enjoy it.

I especially worry about Baby Bear being able to eat since she is on bottle strike. I have spoken with my lactation consultant and with my child care provider and both have assured me that she will not starve. She may end up eating more in the evenings and in the morning to compensate for eating less during the day. On days that she is in child care, I will be able to nurse her during my lunch breaks. The rest of the time I will have to pump. Since my goal is to breastfeed for 1 year, I hope that I can successfully continue to pump and keep my supply up. There is always something new in my adventures with Baby Bear. Never a dull moment!

Rolling, rolling

Baby Bear almost rolled over tonight!! We were laying on the bed, getting her ready for bedtime when she rolled from her back to her side and onto her tummy. She had her one arm stuck, but she was pretty much on her tummy. Wow!!! It is exciting and sad at the same time. While it is so wonderful that she has made this new development, I feel sad that she is growing and developing so fast. My little girl is growing so fast.

I never knew...

I always knew that I would love my baby. But I never knew that I would be so in love with my baby. I am so in love with my Baby Bear. Her big toothless smiles just bring such happiness in my world. Her sparkling eyes lights up my world. Her adorable face is the most beautiful and amazing face. I love my little girl more than words can even describe.

There are times when she is fussy and difficult (although she is a wonderful baby for the most part, but every baby has their moments) and I feel exhausted and deprived of sleep, yet despite that I absolutely love this little girl. I never knew that I could love someone this much. The love I have for my little Baby Bear is a love that is like no other. I don't think that there is anything she can do that would make me fall out of love.

She had only been in this world for a short 3 months and I have yet to know who she will become. What I do know is that I love Baby Bear and no matter what happens in the many years to come, I will always love her. My love for her can only grow as she grows.

Look at how I've grown

At 3 months old, Baby Bear has come a long way. She is now 12 lbs. 12 oz. Check out how she has grown:


Baby Bear now does the following things:

• suck on her hands
• loves to talk to mommy and daddy
• coos and smiles all day long - she is such a happy baby, although she gets really serious when she sees the camera.
  
• loves bath time - she loves to kick and splash. She talks a lot through the whole process.
  
• loves staring at faces
• loves stand up time - sometimes her legs are so straight that she won't bend them when we try to sit her down. Papa Bear calls her his little 2 by 4, he is such a carpenter!
• loves to sit on laps facing out or on her bumbo seat- she is just so curious about the world.
  
• tolerates tummy time and is lifting her head
  
• tries to sit up when she is reclined - she does a lot of crunches!

90 day warranty expired

Today, Baby Bear is 3 months old. As Papa Bear likes to say, her 90 day warranty expires today and we will keep her, LOL. Of course, we will keep her!! Look how adorable this girl is:

Holy Growth Spurt!

Baby Bear has been eating about every hour today!!! Oh my goodness, she will nurse for about 30 minutes and then 30 minutes later is fussy and ready to eat again. I (and my boobs) am pretty tired!! I hope this doesn't last through out the night. I hope we get some sleep tonight. Yikes!!

Day at the movies

Today Baby Bear went to see her first movie. She went to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. She was great at the movies. The theater was pretty empty since kids are back at school now. She slept for the most part, which was so nice of her to allow her mama an opportunity to watch a movie. It has been months, maybe even a year since I have seen a movie in the theaters. So this was definitely a nice treat.

My Social Butterfly

Baby Bear was quite the social butterfly this weekend. She attended a baby shower on Saturday and a bridal shower on Sunday. She was such a wonderful baby at each event. It was so nice to celebrate such special occasions with special friends and I am thankful that they allowed Baby Bear to be a part of it. Baby Bear was especially excited to attend the very pink baby shower and can't wait to meet her new friend in a few weeks.