Good News, Bad News

The Good News

For the last week Baby Bear has been sleeping through the night! It just happened. No sleep training; she just decided to sleep through the night. The first night I thought it was a fluke and I have been afraid to say it out loud ever since. I was still getting up 2 times a night, I guess out of habit, and since I was awake I would go check on her to make sure she was still alive and breathing. Baby Bear likes to sleep on her stomach with her face buried in the mattress; it freaks me out.

What has changed is that she has been going down to sleep 30 minutes later at 8:15 pm and waking up 30 minutes earlier at 6:15 am, but if she will sleep through the night I will take it! After 7 nights of sleeping through the night, I was really hoping that this was it and Baby Bear was now ready to sleep through the night. I was really happy that she was finally meeting this milestone and that we didn't have to sleep train.

The Bad News

Last night, Baby Bear went down to sleep at 8:15 pm. She was really tired and didn't even want to read her bed time stories; she pushed the books away when we got ready to read. She had a hard time going down to sleep, but finally did. She then woke up at 9:30 pm and had a hard time going back down. Finally she went back to sleep. At 1:30am, she woke again and fell back asleep. Baby Bear then decided to wake up at 2:30 am and decided it was time to be up. She did not go back to sleep until 4:3o am!

The Bright Side

I knew it was too good to be true. However, now I know that Baby Bear is capable of sleeping through the night and does not really need to nurse in the middle of the night. Now hopefully she will be back on track tonight. I will even be fine with her getting up 2-3 times a night again as long as she goes back to sleep after each waking. Play time at 2:30 am is not good. I am one tired mama bear.

A little lavender makes a difference

At our baby shower we received a basket of baby toiletries including some Aveeno Calming Comfort Bath and Calming Comfort Lotion the with lavender. We ran out of it a month ago and just didn't think we really needed it so I wasn't in any hurry to replace the bottle since I still had some other regular wash/shampoo. Well, I bought some more and started using it again and wow has it made a difference. The lavender really does help to relax Baby Bear and get her ready for bed. It was a bit challenging getting her down to sleep for a while and then after we started using the lavender bath and lotion again, Baby Bear goes down to sleep without a problem. We will always have lavender for bath time!!

Gaining weight - 10 month weight check

At Baby Bear's 9 month well visit, she had not gained very much weight so the pediatrician wanted to see her again this month for a weight check. Today she weighs 16 lbs, 14 oz. and is the same length/height as last month. The pediatrician was pleased by her weight gain and will see us again next month to make sure she continues to gain rather than plateau as she had. He said she looked really good and that he liked that she didn't scream at him when he was examining her :)

Baby Bear feels heavier, so I was pretty sure that she had gained weight. On top of that Baby Bear has been waking up several times a night to nurse, so I hoped that the extra feeding sessions would show when she weighed in. It is good to know that my loss of sleep is for a good cause.

I think she would have gained a little more had she not gotten sick. She lost 4 oz when she got sick. Well, she is back on track now. It is good to have a healthy and happy baby.

I have been pretty tired and exhausted since she is up several times a night to nurse, but she obviously needs to eat to keep her weight gain on track. I think what she has done is reversed cycled, she is only eating 2 bottles during the day instead of 3 (except with Lola Bear where she eats 4 bottles!) so she is making it up at night. Now that she is mobile, she is easily distracted and would rather play than eat (or nap for that matter). Because I know she needs to eat, we will not sleep train again. It is pretty rough on me to have to get up 3-4 times a night and I often fall asleep while nursing her. Sadly, it is on me to nurse her. Papa Bear has tried to help out, but she will scream until I nurse her. I suppose we can try a bottle but nursing helps to keep my milk supply up and I need to keep it up until we wean. I need to remember this is only a short time in the grand scheme of things. Before I know it she will be all grown; she is already growing up so fast.

A new milestone: the good, the bad, the funny

The Good: Baby Bear met a new milestone. She learned to get into the seated position from laying day by herself today. She is very close to crawling as well, she is getting up on her knees and she has been able to move a few steps (or crawls) forward. Yikes, our Baby Bear is mobile!

The Bad: When we put her in her crib to go down for a nap, she starts crying and gets into the seated position. Consequently, she had the most difficult time take a nap today. So Papa Bear and I finally had to take Baby Bear for a drive so that she could nap in the car. We drove around for an hour and half so that she could finally nap this afternoon.

More Bad: When we put Baby Bear down to sleep tonight, instead of rolling over and going to sleep, she got up into the seated position and cried. She was going down to sleep so well since we sleep trained. It was great! But tonight, we had regressed and had to do the Ferber Method again. After about 30 minutes, she finally fell asleep. Papa Bear went to check on her after a while and make sure she was sleeping okay. She was okay and asleep, BUT

The Funny: She fell asleep in the seated position with her face down. It was hilarious. Papa Bear called me into the room to help get her in a more comfortable position without waking her. Baby Bear is going to have to learn how to lay down from the seated position.

Shhh...sleeping like a baby...finally!

Baby Bear is finally sleeping like a baby!!!! We took a break from the sleep training that we attempted to start last month since Baby Bear was teething and congested. It was not the right time for her. So Papa Bear and I took turns at night getting up with Baby Bear. The last few weeks were getting progressively more difficult and both Papa Bear and I were very sleep deprived and not very happy (or effective) parents. Baby Bear was waking every 1-2 hours. We knew she did not need to eat each time she woke, she just needed help getting back to sleep by being picked up. Papa Bear took the first shift getting up with her and I slept on the couch until about 2am. At that time I would nurse her and Papa Bear went to sleep on the couch. We did this for a couple of weeks.

Last week, we decided that it was time to re-start sleep training. In our previous attempts of sleep training, using the Ferber method, we were focusing on decreasing the night wakings by reducing the number of feedings. Well, we were successful in that she was only being nursed 2 times at night, but the reduced number of feedings did not decrease the number of times she woke up. She would wake up often and once we picked her up, she immediately fell back asleep. She just didn't know how to get herself back to sleep without our help. We had to teach her. It was time to go all out sleep training.

So we started last Thursday night since that was the beginning of my weekend. We went through our normal bedtime routine with bath, lotion, bedtime stories, lullabies, and nursing. However instead of nursing her to sleep, I removed her from the breast before she fell asleep. I gave her a kiss and put her in her crib. Well, Baby Bear hates being put down in her crib and was not happy, she was crying and upset. We started with 3 minutes, then I went in and followed the rest of the schedule set by Ferber. It was so hard to hear her cry, she was definitely angry. Baby Bear went to sleep in under 30 minutes. It was a long 30 minutes. Papa Bear and I slept on the couch. I woke up at about 4am and Baby Bear was still asleep! I went to check in on her to make sure she was still breathing and she was sleeping just like a baby! Baby Bear did not wake up until 6:45am. She had slept for 11 hours!!! It was amazing. I felt so rested.

We did it again the next night and she was asleep after about 10 minutes and again slept until 6:45am. She has finally learned to fall sleep on her own. She still fusses when I first put her into her crib but goes to sleep after a few minutes; tonight she was down after less than a minute of fussing. I hope that she will eventually not cry or fuss when I put her down in her crib. The last couple of nights she has gotten up once in the night and I have nursed her, but put her back in her crib before she falls asleep on the breast. My goal was to reduce the number of night wakings so I have no problem with getting up once a night to nurse her if that is what she needs. I am also noticing that she is eating more during the day, so I know she is getting enough food. I hope this all sticks!

After months of sleep deprivation, this mama bear had the most restful weekend. It feels wonderful to actually get some sleep. I feel like a different mama, a better mama for my baby.

Sleeping like a baby?

Whoever coined the term "sleeping like a baby" probably didn't have a baby.

Baby Bear's night time sleep has widely improved from last week. Hallelujah! We started to sleep train using what I knew about the Ferber method 3 nights ago. We assessed that there are several of things that we would like to work on with regards to Baby Bear's sleep.

1. She wakes up excessively at night (6-8 times or more). This just began in the last month.
   
2. She often needs help getting to sleep. She is either rocked or nursed.
   
3. She does not like to sleep in her crib, she prefers to sleep in our bed. I can get her down in the crib if she is almost asleep, but after she wakes up the first time at night she will not go back down in her crib.
4. She takes very short naps and has a hard time going down for a nap without being nursed (at least that is the case when she is home with me, not when she is in daycare).

Since sleep deprivation was the biggest issue at this point in time, we decided that we would work on decreasing her night wakings first and later to work on the other issues. It was more important to me to get sleep for both of us. I also thought it would be easier to work on one thing at a time. I don't need her to sleep through the night and that was not our goal, we wanted to reduce the number of times that she woke up at night to 2.

I had been nursing her every time that she woke up thinking that she was hungry. But I realize now that Baby Bear does not need to eat every hour or every two hours. I know that she can go at least 4 hours between meals and I know she can actually go longer. So with that as my gauge, I would nurse her at times that were reasonable and not at the other times. So with those goals in mind, we went on our way to sleep training.

Night one
Baby Bear went down to sleep as usual at 7pm and after about an hour she began to cry. We used Ferber's method. She cried before going in to soothe her at the following intervals: 3 mins, 5 mins, 10 min, and 10 mins. After close to 30 minutes of crying, we finally caved in. Since I know she didn't need to be fed, Papa Bear went in to pick her up and soothe her. He said that she immediately buried her head in his chest and fell asleep. He tried to put her down in the crib but then she would cry, he put her down on our bed and laid next to her until she fell asleep. She slept in the bed the rest of the night.

That night, I actually went to sleep on the couch since I was exhausted and sick. Papa Bear slept with her. She woke up at midnight and he soothed her to sleep. I must have been exhausted since I didn't hear her that first time. I actually got to sleep for a 3-4 hour span before she woke up again at about 2:30am. I heard her on the monitor and nursed her and then slept again until about 5am. Nursed again. Woke at 6am and she slept in until 8am.

It was tough to hear her cry and every time I went in to soothe her, her cries were worse. I think it make it worse when I go in to tell her she is okay. But she slept considerable better than last week, even though we caved in. She was only up 5 times, which was an improvement. I also learned that she could go 4 hours without nursing, actually she was able to go almost 7 hours. So that reinforced that 4 hours was a reasonable goal.

Night two
Baby Bear went down to sleep as usual in her crib at 7pm and again after an hour she began to cry. I went into soothe her at 5 mins. After another 10 min., Papa Bear didn't want to go any further and went in to pick her up and again he put her down on our bed and laid down with her until she fell asleep. She slept with us the rest of the night. She woke at 12:30am and I rocked her but did not nurse her since I knew from the night before that she did not need to nurse. She woke up at about 3am to nurse, then she was up at 5am and I rocked her back to sleep. She was up at 6:30am and I nursed her and she was up for the day.

She was up 4 times. It was getting better.

Night three
I put Baby Bear down to sleep as usual at 7pm and put her in her crib. This time she did not wake up an hour after she was put down. She slept until 10pm. We let her cry for 10 minutes and then Papa Bear went in to soothe her and put her down in our bed. (Papa Bear is not so good with letting her cry). She was up at 12:30am, 3am, and 6:30am.

We are still at the 4 times in a night. But she is learning that she does not need to nurse all those times. We will see how it goes tonight. I feel things are going much better and maybe because I am recovering from my cold I am feeling a little more rested. Although, I still long for the night where I can sleep for longer than 4 hours. We will keep at it and I know that time will come. For now, sleep training is going pretty well. I have been told that consistency is the key. I will keep on, it isn't always easy, but then again nothing about parenting is really that easy anyways.

By the book
I was just able to read parts of Ferber's book yesterday and although I started before reading the book I was very happy to learn that what we were doing by reducing the number of feedings at night is along with what he discusses in the book. He suggests to gradually replace feedings with another type of parental intervention, like rocking to sleep. After the association with feeding is gone, you can start teaching the child to fall asleep on her own. That was what I had been doing when she would wake up and it was not time to nurse. I am glad to have some reassurance that we are working in the right direction.

I feel like what we are doing is working for us. It may be going slowly, but we have seen improvement. And since consistency is key, we just need to give it more time. If I can reduce night waking to 2 times, then maybe we can eventually get it down to only 1 time and then none. After we get this down, then maybe we can work on the other sleep issues. One thing at a time. This parenting thing is no easy task and it helps me to break things down into more manageable pieces.

Maybe in time, I will be sleeping like a baby!!!

Oh so tired

I am still sleep deprived and tired. It is definitely time for some sleep training. We are thinking about using the Ferber method to help her sleep better. The problem in not getting her to sleep, but getting her to stay a sleep. She is waking up way too much during the night (6 times last night!). I am okay with nursing her once maybe even twice a night, but lately it has been way too much.

I read a couple of books on sleep when Baby Bear was still a newborn. I first read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I liked the research in it and the discussion on sleep signs. It also talked about putting a baby to sleep earlier at night, which I did do very early on (around 2-3 months) and that really helped. However, I did not feel comfortable with letting a baby cry it out as long as it takes to get them to sleep at night. It seems too harsh for me and I am still not willing to do that. I also read the No Cry Sleep Solution and have used many of the techniques, such as the Pantley Pull Off method and introducing a bedtime routine (I started that around 3 months). While it is a gentle technique, which is what attracted me to it, it has not enough to help us. I think it is time to try something else out. I really don't want to let her cry, but I don't know if I have much of a choice at this point. I am tired and I need some sleep. Maybe Ferber will be my happy medium.

Having her cry is so hard for me. I am waiting for the Ferber book to arrive so I can read it and better understand it. Then I can decide if we can brave it out to let her cry a bit. My basic understanding is that you progressively lengthen the amount of time you let the baby cry before going in to soothe her. You start off with 3 minutes and then go in to soothe, but do not pick up or hold her (that will be the hardest thing for me). Then leave again, gradually lengthening the amount of time (e.g., 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes, etc.) you allow them to cry until they fall asleep. They still have to cry, but it is not as harsh as letting them cry-it-out for as long as it takes without soothing them.

A part of me keeps thinking it will just get better and I won't have to do any sleep training, but it has been over a week. It was a little better last night. At least she wasn't up in the middle of the night refusing to go back to sleep. I am just so hesitant and I am not sure why. I think I might just need to suck it up if I want any sleep.

Any words of wisdom or advice from experiences parents out there?

Who needs sleep anyways?

Baby Bear has decided that she doesn’t really need to sleep at night any more. For the last 3 nights she has been getting up every 1-2 hours at night. I don’t know exactly what happened and what is causing this. She never did sleep through the night, but it wasn't this bad. She used to wake 2 times a night to nurse and I can deal with that. But every 1-2 hours is not working for me at all.

Last night was the absolute worst. She was up at about 3 am and didn't go back to sleep until 5 am. I nursed her when she got up at 3 am and usually she would go back down to sleep, but not last night. She was awake and wanted me to hold her and play. I was so tired from lack of sleep that I was not in the mood to play. Besides it was 3 in the morning! So I lay her next to me in bed and then she started crying. I knew she wasn't hungry since I had just nursed her. I tried to soothe her but she wanted me to hold her. I was getting so frustrated that I had to put her back in her crib and let her cry it out. I had to do it for me and for her. I was watching the clock and told myself I would only let her go for 5 minutes max. That was rough. I wanted to pick her up because I felt awful that she was crying and that I knew exactly what she wanted, but after about 3 minutes she stopped crying. She didn't go back to sleep, rather she was playing in her crib by herself. At least she wasn't crying. That lasted for about 30 minutes when she started crying again. She wanted me and I picked her up and nursed her again. Finally she went to sleep. She slept for an hour and then woke again to nurse and then slept another hour before it was time to get up and start our day. I am a walking zombie today and I had to go to work since I had an important meeting scheduled today.

Where was Papa Bear in all this? Papa Bear slept through it all and I don't know how he did. She was screaming. In the morning, when I told him what happened, he asked why I didn't wake him. I don't know why, I really should have woken him up to help me deal with it but I guess I figure one of us should get sleep and I was already awake. He told me next time to wake him up when I get that frustrated so that he can help. He is a good Papa Bear, I will definitely be waking him up if this happens tonight.

Maybe this change in sleep patterns has to do with me going back to work after a two week break. Being home with Baby Bear for two weeks was great, but it really took her off of her normal schedule. Maybe she just needs a little more time to adjust. When I was home with her, at least I could nap during the day with her, but now that I am back to work napping is not an option. This is not working for me at all. I am trying to be patient and see how things go in the next few nights since my work week is now done and I will be home, but I am seriously considering sleep training. If this continues, I cannot function with this little sleep and we are going to have to do something about this. This Mama Bear needs some sleep in order to be a good momma.