Ready for her close up

Baby Bear had her first photo shoot last week, at 13 days old. Check her out on our photographer's, Kim Le Photography, blog: click here.

Isn't she gorgeous!! Can't wait to see the rest!!

Babywearing

I have been starting to wear Baby Bear the last couple of weeks. She seems to like it and always falls asleep while I wear her. In general, Baby Bear only falls asleep if Papa Bear or I hold her. She doesn't really like to sleep in her bassinet for very long at all. So wearing her during the day is great and helps me to have my hands free while still keeping her close to me.





There are a lot of benefits to wearing your baby. It is great for their development, babies cry less, and it promotes bonding. It keeps your baby close to you. So far so good. I am currently using the Moby wrap to wear Baby Bear, I also have a Baby Bjorn from a friend that I have not tried yet. So far, I really like the Moby. It is a lot of fabric and not the most convenient to put on while in public. I have not tried to wear Baby Bear in public yet; but I do hope to give it a shot. I am sure it will be easier than having to lug around a carseat and stroller all the time. The carseat can be heavy, so I hope that I can brave it and try it in public eventually. For now, practicing at home is going really well.

I also bought a Baby K'tan, which is similar to the Moby with all the fabric but does not have to be wrapped. It looked really easy to use and because ti doesn't require being wrapped, I thought it might be easier for public use. It didn't fit me and Baby Bear too well. It is sized and the small size seemed too big for me, so I am going to return it. For now, we will stick with the Moby. There are so many different ones out there and it is hard to know what will work best for us. I would like to give others a try.

Postpartum: 3 weeks

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last blog post. It is so nice to know that I am not alone and that what I am experiencing is normal. I've read that baby blues are normal, but it really hits you and you feel so alone. I know I am not alone and that I am only 3 weeks into being a mother.

Motherhood is hard. First, we must endure about 40 weeks of pregnancy with nausea and all those other fun pregnancy symptoms. Then, we must go through hours and hours of labor and delivery. It is amazing how this 7 lb. baby came out of me, Baby Bear is so small yet so big to have come from me if you really think about it. Now, we continue to go through adjustments to a newborn with hormones continuing to run through your body. Nothing is back to normal; my body still looks pregnant and because of breastfeeding my body doesn't really belong to me. My body is at the mercy of this little baby's beckon call.



I love my Baby Bear. I really do. I know I may not sound like it lately. But she really is a beautiful and amazing baby. I am lucky that she is healthy and a really good baby. Things could be worse. I get out of the house with her every now and then and she is very good about things. She usually just ends up sleeping in her car seat during our outings. She is so beautiful and how can I not adore this perfect baby. I love her!!

I know everyone warned me

Being a new a parent is hard! I knew it would be hard and everyone tells you about being sleep deprived; but I guess I really had no idea what they really meant until I experienced it myself. I have never felt this tired in my life. I am fortunate that Baby Bear is a wonderful baby and I do get some sleep and try to sleep when she sleeps. But how I long to sleep for a long stretch at one time. To sleep for just 6 hours straight would be heavenly right now. It is just not possible for me right now since I breastfeed and she eats every 2-3 hours, once in a while she will go for 4 hours hours at night if I am lucky.

With all this lack of sleep coupled with the hormones still raging through our bodies, it is no wonder that mothers experience the baby blues. Not everyone talks about it because you are supposed to be so happy to be a mom and have this little one in your life and I am so happy. But every once in a while, my hormones get the best of me and I start crying from sadness and frustration. I have had a couple of crying bouts. I don't think it is full blown postpartum depression, but I do think I am experiencing the baby blues.

I am frustrated, exhausted, and a little lonely. It is hard being home all day alone. Papa Bear is back to work and needs to work. So that leaves me home alone with Baby Bear. I miss going to work and being around people. I miss being able to run errands without trying to time things just right with Baby Bear and her feedings. We go for walks and I have just started to go out with Baby Bear on my own for errands. I think that helps me out since I feel a little stir crazy from time to time. But it is more work to get out of the house when you have a little one to think about. I have been very lucky because so far she has been very good while we are out. Last week, we went to our cousin's graduation party at a loud restaurant and Baby Bear was wonderful, she pretty much slept through the whole thing.

I know it will get easier and I will be able to sleep again. I know I need to cherish this time because Baby Bear will grow so quickly and I won't get this time back. I am so fortunate to be able to spend all this time with her and be home. I so lucky to have such a wonderful baby. It is hard but I wouldn't trade any of this for the world. Right now we are just taking it one day at a time. I love my Baby Bear.

My Baby Burrito is 2 weeks old!

I'm a little late here. We have been busy but here are some two week pictures.



All swaddled up and wrapped up like a burrito:

Postpartum: 2 weeks and Belly Binding

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In many cultures, women have been wrapping their post-pregnancy bellies to get back into shape quickly and naturally. Stomach binding has been around a long time especially with Eastern traditions. The theory behind belly binding is that by holding your stomach in for the weeks after delivery, you'll support your back while your abs heal and encourage your skin to snap back more quickly.

I figured why not give it a try. There are different postpartum wraps available, I bought a generic inexpensive one from Babies R' Us and I also go the Belly Bandit. They all claim to do the same thing and don't seem to differ from each other very much. In fact, you can use an ace bandage to wrap yourself. I do like the Belly Bandit a little more since it seems to fit tighter on me. I needed two of them so that I can wash one and wear the other.

I started wearing it once I got home from the hospital and I do think that it has made a difference in making my belly smaller. I saw a big difference in the first few days. I have already had to adjust it smaller since the first time I put it on. I have read that you should wear it for the 6 weeks or so day and night, I will give it a shot and see if it helps.

I gained almost 40 lbs by the time I gave birth. In the end I was so swollen so I think a lot of it was water because I seemed to have gained those last 5 lbs in the last week when I had Fred Flinstone feet. I continued to have swollen feet for the first week postpartum. Thank goodness that swelling has gone down. So far, I have lost about 20 lbs. Just 20 more to go!

Breastfeeding Update

We went to the breastfeeding clinic this morning and Baby Bear has surpassed her birth weight!! She is now 7 lbs. 11 oz. Yay!! She is growing so fast. That is great news and I am weaning her off supplementing with the tube. I will only supplement at night with my expressed breast milk. Supplementing was a pain since it was so hard to get the tube in her mouth while she was on the breast, so I am glad that I can start to wean her off of that. I will continue to pump in the mornings so that I can keep up my supply and have the expressed breast milk when I supplement in the evenings. I am so glad that breastfeeding is getting better and that Baby Bear is getting more from me now.

It is still hard and work in the sense that my body is not mine and I have to feed her every couple of hours. So it is hard to get time to do things between feedings. It is all worth it I know and I am so glad I am able to breastfeed.

Baby Bear's first outing

Today, we took Baby Bear on her first outing. It was an outing that wasn't to the breastfeeding clinic or pediatricians. It was her first outing that involved a car ride for longer than 5 minutes (we are fortunate that the hospital, breastfeeding clinic, and pediatrician are all within walking distance).

The Bear family went out for lunch to one of our favorite local Mexican restaurants. Baby Bear did really well and was awake and alert during our entire lunch. She was just taking in all the sounds. She did not fuss or cry at all. It is nice to know that we can still eat out with Baby Bear, we just have to prepare a little ahead of time. I made sure to breastfeed her before we left the house and so she was fed and happy. It was a successful outing.

Breastfeeding

I knew from the very beginning that I really wanted to breastfeed. There are so many benefits to doing so. But I also knew that although it was a very natural thing, it could be very difficult. I had no idea how difficult it was going to be. The first time just after birth, Baby Bear latched on right away and I felt very positive that this would work out. But in those first few days before my milk came in, it was very challenging. I was feeding her constantly; 2 hour feeding session with little break in between otherwise, she would fuss unless I breastfed or we held her. She slept very little. I was exhausted and had pretty much no sleep. The thought of breastfeeding around the clock was discouraging. I kept on going through the weekend until I was able to go see a lactation consultant at the breastfeeding clinic that my hospital referred me to. I was fortunate that the clinic was free and very close to home.

The lactation consultants at the clinic helped me tremendously. Immediately after going to the clinic the first time Baby Bear was a happier and easy baby. She didn't have to be held constantly and she actually slept in her bassinet rather than sleeping on Papa Bear or me. The problem was that she had not been getting enough milk from me. I just wasn't producing enough for her. So the lactation consultant had me supplement her feedings using a supplemental nursing system (SNS), which is a tube feeding system. The tube is inserted in her mouth as she is on the breast and allows her to get my breast milk and some formula. Initially I supplemented with formula and began to pump, so that I could supplement with breast milk rather than formula.

So that first week home, I went to the clinic 3 times and Baby Bear gained weight; she gained 10 oz. 3 days and was one ounce from her birth weight. That was a good sign considering that she had lost 10% of her birth weight. Now I am supplementing every other feeding and I am continuing to pump so that I can keep my supply up. I figure eventually I can freeze what I pump so that eventually Papa Bear can give her a bottle in about a month or so.

I plan to continue to utilize the breastfeeding clinic and go twice a week. It is such a great resource. The weigh Baby Bear before I feed her and then again afterward so that we can see how much she is getting from me. Hopefully, my supply will continue to grow and I can wean her off the SNS. If it weren't for the lactation consultants and the clinic, I might have been so discouraged with breastfeeding. I think I will be able to continue now and hopefully do so for the first year of Baby Bear's life. I feel like it is getting better.

The best Papa Bear

My husband is the best. He has been so wonderful through our new adventure into parenthood together. He was there with me every step of the way through labor and delivery. He has taken wonderful care of me and Baby Bear. Making sure that we are both doing well and helping me. He has done so much around the house as I recover and has taken an active part in being a parent. He is a wonderful father and husband. I am so blessed to have him to support me. I can't imagine doing any of this alone and I wouldn't want to do it with anyone other than him.

He is so enamored with Baby Bear and she already has him wrapped around her little, tiny fingers. They have bonded so well together; she loves to sleep on her daddy's chest and he loves the time he spends with her. You can immediately see how much he loves his little girl and how much he adores her. It is really sweet and beautiful thing. There is something so special about the bond a father creates with his baby. I see it more and more everyday and fall in love with him all over again. I love the fact that he is so happy to be a daddy.

I love Papa Bear, he is the best husband and daddy in the world.

168 hours later

I can't believe that it has already been one week since this beautiful angel has come into my world. So much has happened. After pushing for 2 1/2 hours, we were blessed with our beautiful Baby Bear. She is healthy and doing so well. Both set of grandparents had waited all night to see her and after we were moved into a Recovery room (I was not in a Labor, Delivery, and Recovery room to begin with because of the concern for my elevated high blood pressure), the grandparents came in to see their first grand child. Baby Bear is the first grand child for both sides of the family (she will be pretty spoiled). Then my grandmother arrived to see her great-grand child. Every one was just in love with her.

By that time, I was exhausted. We had barely gotten any sleep the night before in anticipation of the big event. We spent 2 nights at the hospital to recover and it was nice to have the nurses to help out with Baby Bear when we needed it. It was hard to get a lot of sleep since she needed to nurse a lot. People warn you about sleep deprivation with a newborn and they were not kidding. The second night at the hospital Baby Bear had a big meltdown and we had to call in the nurse to help calm her. Papa Bear and I are such novices.

We were discharged Friday afternoon and went home. We came home to "Welcome Home" signs and balloons. Grandpa Bear had decorated for our homecoming, it was so sweet. That first weekend home was really rough, we were still pretty sleep deprived and learning. Baby Bear would not sleep unless she was held and she was feeding constantly. She loved to sleep on Papa Bear. My milk had not come in yet but she was getting the colostrum. It was really hard for us that first weekend, she had to be constantly held or fed otherwise she would cry. She would not sleep in her bassinet and she would feed for hours at a time. My poor nipples were in pain. She was otherwise a good baby, we were just learning how to satisfy her needs.

First thing Monday morning, we went to the breastfeeding clinic. They weighed Baby Bear and measured her jaundice level. She had loss 10% of her weight (6 lbs. 11 oz.) and her jaundice level was higher than at discharge from Friday. She also hadn't had a bowel movement in a few days so that was of concern. The lactation consultant told me that the problem was that she was not getting enough food from me, which was why I had to constantly feed her. She was never satisfied. Once she got enough food, she would sleep for several hours at a time and I wouldn't have to feed constantly for long periods of time. To help her get enough food, they had me supplement my breastfeeding using the a little tube with formula. They told me to pump so that I could build a supply to supplement with instead of formula and to help increase my milk production. The lactation consultants there are amazing and really helped me. After incorporating the supplement right away, there was already an immediate change.

It was amazing what a difference the supplement made with Baby Bear. We came home and she had some alert time and then slept for several hours without being held. She slept in her bassinet on her own for 2-3 hours and then she would feed. Papa Bear and I were finally able to nap when she slept or get things done around the house. She was a good baby before but now that she was not starving she is a really great baby!

Tuesday, we went back to the breastfeeding clinic and she had gained 5 oz and her jaundice levels went down. She was doing so much better. I had actually gotten some sleep that night between her feedings, it was awesome!

Today, we had her first pediatrician appointment and she weighed in at 7 lb 4oz. She is close to her birth weight and had gained another 4 oz. The doctor said she was looking great and we scheduled our next appointment for 2 months.

Jordyn is doing so well and we are so fortunate to have such a wonderful baby. One week later, she is even more amazing than ever.

1 week postpartum

It has been one week now and through out the pregnancy I posted pictures of my baby bump. Well, I know most people don't post picture of their postpartum bump. I knew that I wouldn't have my stomach back right after birth, I had no idea what expect though. I still looked pregnant after giving birth. I felt some contractions the first few days as my uterus was working to get back to normal. Postpartum is not that pretty but I am willing to share my experiences.

After 1 week, my stomach has gone down quite a bit. I am sure in time it will go down more and more. I am starting to feel a little better and hope to start going for walks with Baby Bear in a the next few days. I don't feel much pain anymore, so I think I can start slowly. Since the breastfeeding clinic is just a block away, I may start with that next week. Hopefully I can build on from there.

My Labor and Delivery Story

I started to feel real contractions on Tuesday, June 2 at about 4:00pm (39 weeks, 3 days). It was at about this time that I noticed that I loss my mucous plug. Papa Bear got home from work about 30 minutes later and I told him that I loss my mucous plug and had experienced other signs of labor earlier in the day. I went on to make an easy dinner (I figured we should eat if this was it and I wouldn’t be able to eat until the baby was born). After dinner, about 6:30pm the contractions were coming more often and we started timing the contractions. My contractions were mostly in my back rather than my abdomen. It was bearable at first but got progressively worse. I was experiencing back labor.

Since we live within walking distance from the hospital, I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible. I had my bag ready to go and went to gather some last few items around the house. When contractions were about 3-6 minutes apart for over an hour, we decided to head over to the hospital at around 9:00pm. I checked in and the nurse monitored my contractions and the Baby’s heart rate. My blood pressure was a little elevated and the contractions were getting more and more painful. The nurse examined me and I was 3 cm dilated. That was good; the contractions were making some progress. This was not false labor. We talked about my pain options with the nurse. I knew ahead of time that I did want an epidural at some point. We talked with the nurse about how long I could wait before it would be too late and decided that I would wait about an hour or so and see how I was doing before getting the epidural. In the mean time, they drew my blood and put in an IV in. They moved me into a labor and delivery room; the nurse did not put me in a labor/delivery and recover room because she was concern about my elevated blood pressure and wanted to keep me close to the nurses’ station.

Once I was moved into a labor and deliver room, we talked about getting an epidural again and I was in so much back pain that I gave the nurse the go ahead to contact the anesthesiologist, since it would take some time to get things ready. He was available pretty quickly; apparently the maternity ward was not very busy, so I was getting all the attention. At about 11:00pm, I got my epidural and I was 5 cm dilated. Once the epidural came in effect, I no longer felt the contractions. It was great! I was in so much back pain and the breathing was not helping. The pain was excruciating. With the pain gone, my blood pressure went back to normal. The pain and anxiety was bringing my blood pressure up and so the epidural really helped me.

The nurse had me lay on my right side since the baby’s heart rate would decrease when I would lie on my back or on my left side. The nurse also gave me oxygen to make sure that the baby was receiving enough oxygen to keep her heart rate up. The nurse thought that she might be lying on the cord when I would shift over. I remained on my right side all night.

Our parents showed up some time after I received my epidural. They came to see me for a little while before heading over to the waiting room. Papa Bear and I both tried to get some rest since we knew we still had a lot of time before show time.

At 1:00am, I had progressed to 7 cm. I was progressing nicely so we thought I would start to deliver early in the morning. It was difficult to get rest; there was no pain but I was excited and nervous to meet my baby girl.

I progressed slowly the rest of night. At 8:00am, the nurse suggested that Papa Bear get some breakfast before we started to push so that he would have energy. I was starving and I am so glad I had dinner the night before.

At about 9:00am, I had progressed enough to be ready to push. My epidural had slightly worn off and I could feel the pressure of the contraction, but not necessarily pain. I discussed with my nurse the option of getting more or pushing with some sensation and pressure. The nurse explained to me that the epidural would not totally wear off and that if I had some sensation my pushing would be more effective. So I decided not to have the anesthesiologist come back in for more. We started to push when ever I had a contraction. The nurse was amazing and really helped me through the whole process. I was fortunate to have such a great nurse with over 20 years of experience. Papa Bear was so supportive and made sure I had my ice chips and oxygen between pushing. He really took care of me and was by my side the entire time.

At one point between pushing the nurse explained to me that the baby had passed meconium (stool) in utero so that once she was delivered they would need to suction it all out and that there would be a respiratory specialist in the room just for the baby. I was pushing and pushing and the baby still hadn’t crowned. The doctor came in a few times to check on me. The nurse also mentioned the possibility of having to vacuum the baby out. It never came to that, but she was just keeping me informed of these possibilities. Finally, after 2 ½ hours of pushing, I knew we were getting really close since there were 2 NICU nurses and the respiratory specialist in the room getting everything ready. The doctor came in and the NICU nurses helped me by holding my legs when I pushed at the very end.

Jordyn finally came out and I heard her crying, the NICU nurses immediately took her and did their work to make sure all the stool was out of her lungs. She had a great set of lungs, I could hear her crying. The doctor continued his work on me. I had to have an episiotomy and he was stitching me up. My epidural had worn off enough so that I could feel him stitching me up. Ouch!! I was still somewhat numb and tingly, but I did feel the pressure.

Jordyn got high apgar scores of 8 and 9. She was born on June 3, 3009 (my parents 36th wedding anniversary) at 11:29am. She weighed in at 7lb, 6oz and measured 20 inches long. When she was all cleaned up they gave her to Papa Bear and he held her for a minute before handing her over to me. I started to breastfeed her and she latched on really well. We were exhausted but it was all worth it. We had a beautiful and amazing baby.

Sleep

My family sure knows how to sleep. Baby Bear loves to sleep on Papa Bear's chest and Chase Monster does not want to be left out of this sleep fest (Chase Monster is the big ball of fur at Papa Bear's feet).

First pictures

First photo - just getting cleaned up (6/3/09):



First family photo (6/3/09):



Another photo (6/3/09):



First bath (6/7/09):

Baby Bear is here!

Jordyn Renee was born June 3, 2009 at 11:29 am. She weighed 7 lbs. 6 oz. and measured 20 inches long. She is beautiful and healthy and giving Papa Bear and I a run for our money. Will post more when we aren't so sleep deprived. We are thrilled to have her here with us.

We are getting close

I am having contractions and OMG do they hurt. They are get longer, stronger, and closer together. I think we are getting closer...

Signs of labor?

In our child birth class we learned about the signs of labor using the mnemonic:

When Does Mom Give Birth

W = Water breaks
D = Diarrhea
M = Menstrual like cramps
G = General feeling of differentness
B = Back pain

Well, today I have experienced two of these signs: diarrhea (I know TMI!) and back pain. I have been having back pains on and off all day along with some contractions but nothing too strong or timeable. I have also loss my mucous plug, which is another sign that we are getting close. I know there is no clear way to tell when labor is coming and these signs could mean days but the signs are there. With 4 days left til D-day at least there are some signs there.

I've been going about my day, I went and got a pedicure and manicure. Since I can't reach my toes without my belly getting in the way it was nice to get my toes done. My pregnancy carpal tunnel make it hard to give myself a manicure and I really needed one. I figured I better do it now because if I do go into labor later today, I have no clue when I will have a change to get one next. I am so glad that I did, I have pretty nails and toes now!

I have been able to get things done around the house, so I must not be in labor yet. I am just worried that I won't know that I am in labor until it is too late. Yikes!! The reality that we are really close is really setting in. So many emotions are running through me: excitement, fear, anxiety, impatience, concern, happiness!! We are getting closer to meeting our Baby Bear face to face!!!

Baby Bump: Week 39 - Still pregnant

It is official Baby Bear will definitely be a June Baby. 5 days until D-day. I am swollen all over, my feet, my hands, and everywhere in between. I feel like if you pricked me I wood leak water rather than blood. It is so sad than even my flip flops are tight. I know we are getting closer and closer every day.