Angel Baby

Yesterday, I celebrated my lola's birthday. Today I mourn the loss of an angel baby. I learned that yesterday was also the day that a beautiful baby was born and died. After 30 hours of labor, my best friend delivered her baby girl and she weighed just under 1 pound. It appears that the umbilical cord had wrapped itself around her neck.

My heart goes out to the beautiful angel baby that I did not have the chance to meet. Angel baby even though you were not my baby, you are in my heart. I love you even though I did not get to know you. You are loved and will always be loved by many.

Happy Birthday Great-Lola!!

Yesterday was my lola's 89th birthday! Doesn't she look amazing for 89 years old.



My lola is the only living grandparent for Papa Bear and I. Baby Bear enjoyed seeing her great-lola and I know my lola loved seeing Baby Bear.

My lola helped to raise me and has always been a special force in my life. I am so fortunate to have grown up with my lola in my life. Being the first born grandchild in the U.S., I have spent almost all my life with lola in it. She has been there through so much and has watched me grow and I am so blessed to have had that opportunity. I know many people grow up with their grandparents living far away or not having even know their grandparents. I didn't just see my lola on holidays, I saw her on a regular basis and she helped to raise me and make me into the person I have become. She is a strong woman and I hope that I have the same qualities that she has. I am so glad that Baby Bear is able to have her in her life. Happy Birthday lola!! Here is to another wonderful year and many more to come! I love you!

Feelings of sorrow and devestation

Tonight I received an awful phone call from my best friend's mom. She was about 7 months pregnant and the baby girl she was carrying in her womb no longer had a heartbeat. She was not ready to talk to anyone quite yet but wanted to let me know what had happened. My heart broke when I heard this news. I was devastated for my friend and I just wanted to hug her. But I want to respect her wishes and give her the space and time she needs with her family. I can only imagine what she is going through. I believe that she will have to deliver the baby and the baby will have to be named with a birth and death certificate. I am filled with so much sorrow.

My best friend was pregnant with a baby girl. This was her third child and although she was surprised when she found out she was pregnant, she was excited and embraced having another child. I remember when she first told me she was pregnant again. It was just weeks after Baby Bear was born. I was so excited and secretly hoped that she would have another girl (she has a 6 year old boy and a 4 year old girl) so that our little girls could grow up together as we did. And she was indeed going to have a little girl. I just talked to her last week and all was well. I don't know why this happened.

I have known my dearest friend since I was in the 7th grade and she was in 8th grade. We met when I made the drill team. She was a year older than me and my lieutenant in drill team. But, it wasn't really until high school that we really became very close friends; we were in drama and Chamber Singers together. We spent a lot of time together in rehearsals. I remember being so sad when she graduated from high school and left me behind. Fortunately, she never really left me behind. Our friendship continued to grow and we have been through heartaches with boys, college graduations, and watch each other get married and have children. She was my matron of honor and I just asked her to be Baby Bear's Godmother. She is such a special person in my life and my heart aches for my friend and her loss. I am so sad.

There has been too much loss this year; this needs to stop!