I am still sleep deprived and tired. It is definitely time for some sleep training. We are thinking about using the Ferber method to help her sleep better. The problem in not getting her to sleep, but getting her to stay a sleep. She is waking up way too much during the night (6 times last night!). I am okay with nursing her once maybe even twice a night, but lately it has been way too much.
I read a couple of books on sleep when Baby Bear was still a newborn. I first read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. I liked the research in it and the discussion on sleep signs. It also talked about putting a baby to sleep earlier at night, which I did do very early on (around 2-3 months) and that really helped. However, I did not feel comfortable with letting a baby cry it out as long as it takes to get them to sleep at night. It seems too harsh for me and I am still not willing to do that. I also read the No Cry Sleep Solution and have used many of the techniques, such as the Pantley Pull Off method and introducing a bedtime routine (I started that around 3 months). While it is a gentle technique, which is what attracted me to it, it has not enough to help us. I think it is time to try something else out. I really don't want to let her cry, but I don't know if I have much of a choice at this point. I am tired and I need some sleep. Maybe Ferber will be my happy medium.
Having her cry is so hard for me. I am waiting for the Ferber book to arrive so I can read it and better understand it. Then I can decide if we can brave it out to let her cry a bit. My basic understanding is that you progressively lengthen the amount of time you let the baby cry before going in to soothe her. You start off with 3 minutes and then go in to soothe, but do not pick up or hold her (that will be the hardest thing for me). Then leave again, gradually lengthening the amount of time (e.g., 3 minutes, 5 minutes, 7 minutes, etc.) you allow them to cry until they fall asleep. They still have to cry, but it is not as harsh as letting them cry-it-out for as long as it takes without soothing them.
A part of me keeps thinking it will just get better and I won't have to do any sleep training, but it has been over a week. It was a little better last night. At least she wasn't up in the middle of the night refusing to go back to sleep. I am just so hesitant and I am not sure why. I think I might just need to suck it up if I want any sleep.
Any words of wisdom or advice from experiences parents out there?
I tried the NCSS and it didn't really help. I also read HSHHC and found it to be too extreme (like you did). So Ferber it was. The first night was hard. He cried for an hour but then only woke up twice to be fed (where before he was waking up multiple times). Each night after, he cut his crying time in half. Now he always falls asleep immediately after being put down to sleep. He still does not STTN, but that wasn't the point of doing Ferber. We were miserable (all three of us) and it was time to do something.
ReplyDeleteNow he wakes up once or twice a night to be fed. He sometimes will wake up and fuss a bit, but that's to be expected. He does also have the tendency to wake up very early sometimes, which is a pain, but overall he's getting a lot more sleep.
Just do your normal routine, and put her down drowsy but awake. If she protests, give her 3 minutes and then go in and soothe her without picking her up. Then increase it as you feel comfortable. You can even start with one minute if you want.
GL! Email me if you need advice/support.
I love what Leslie said! She is right...Ferber was the right way for us too. The crying the first night was brutal, I won't lie to you. I cried with her watching her in the video monitor. But the next night was better and better and better. She is 4 months old and will sleep almost totally through the night! Some night totally through the night. Don't wait for the book, look Ferber up on the internet and try it this weekend and by Monday you may be sleeping!!
ReplyDeletei cannot let DJ cry and luckily, knock on wood, we really havent had to.
ReplyDeletei did my research and ferber was the only thing that i believed in. friends swear by it!
good luck.