Being a new a parent is hard! I knew it would be hard and everyone tells you about being sleep deprived; but I guess I really had no idea what they really meant until I experienced it myself. I have never felt this tired in my life. I am fortunate that Baby Bear is a wonderful baby and I do get some sleep and try to sleep when she sleeps. But how I long to sleep for a long stretch at one time. To sleep for just 6 hours straight would be heavenly right now. It is just not possible for me right now since I breastfeed and she eats every 2-3 hours, once in a while she will go for 4 hours hours at night if I am lucky.
With all this lack of sleep coupled with the hormones still raging through our bodies, it is no wonder that mothers experience the baby blues. Not everyone talks about it because you are supposed to be so happy to be a mom and have this little one in your life and I am so happy. But every once in a while, my hormones get the best of me and I start crying from sadness and frustration. I have had a couple of crying bouts. I don't think it is full blown postpartum depression, but I do think I am experiencing the baby blues.
I am frustrated, exhausted, and a little lonely. It is hard being home all day alone. Papa Bear is back to work and needs to work. So that leaves me home alone with Baby Bear. I miss going to work and being around people. I miss being able to run errands without trying to time things just right with Baby Bear and her feedings. We go for walks and I have just started to go out with Baby Bear on my own for errands. I think that helps me out since I feel a little stir crazy from time to time. But it is more work to get out of the house when you have a little one to think about. I have been very lucky because so far she has been very good while we are out. Last week, we went to our cousin's graduation party at a loud restaurant and Baby Bear was wonderful, she pretty much slept through the whole thing.
I know it will get easier and I will be able to sleep again. I know I need to cherish this time because Baby Bear will grow so quickly and I won't get this time back. I am so fortunate to be able to spend all this time with her and be home. I so lucky to have such a wonderful baby. It is hard but I wouldn't trade any of this for the world. Right now we are just taking it one day at a time. I love my Baby Bear.
You are definitely not alone. I feel the same exact way (had my baby 6 days ago). My mom warned me of the baby blues, and I didn't quite understand when she told me. I've had some tearful moments as well, and it is hard. You just have to look to the future and know that it will get better as they will become a little less fragile and not so dependent.
ReplyDeleteBest of luck! :)
Sorry to hear you're going through the dreaded baby blues. I definitely have been too. I have a long blog entry about it in the works, actually. Hang in there! It will get easier.
ReplyDeleteAwww Sher, I hope your baby blues pass. **HUGS**
ReplyDeleteI could have written that post... I feel the same way. Hang in there and if you ever want to talk during the day, let me know. I'm home while Jon is back at work too! Hang in there - we'll get through it!
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you have been experiencing the baby blues, but like you mentioned, I think it is very common, most people just dont want to talk about it.
ReplyDeleteHere is hoping things improve soon!
I went through the same thing after having Sarah. I knew about PPD but had no idea how the sleep deprivation and hormones in addition to having Sarah in the NICU for 4 days would affect me. Once we got her home, things got a little better. I finally went to my dr and asked for meds. He said to come back when Sarah was 7 weeks old if I was still feeling this way. Pretty much right at the 6 week mark (when the hormones were finally out of my body) everything turned around! Yes, I was still exhausted and frustrated with BF'ing (I had to finally exclusively pump) but the "cloud" hanging above me was gone! It's good to write about this and "put it out there" so other women know they're not alone.
ReplyDeleteI was 100% right there with you. It sucks and there was alot of crying involved. For me, getting more sleep helped a ton. I exclusively breastfed (and still do), but after about a month or so my H started to give him a bottle of pumped milk for 1 of the night time feedings and I was able to get 5-6 hours of sleep. After sleeping that long I was pretty, uh, full, so I just pumped again in the morning and it worked pretty well.
ReplyDeleteI spent Sunday in church, crying. I still cry at the smallest things, but it's getting better.
ReplyDeleteMotherhood is hard, and you're doing a great job!
Here's to things getting better (for both of us!).